What in the bloody hell is the point of 'abstaining' until marriage?

If one spouse (me -- male) abstains until marriage, and the other spouse (female) does not, what is the bloody point? The same thing is happening as indulging in pre-marital sex -- jealousy and resentment through comparing each other to previous 'sexual experiences with other partners' thus defeating the very purpose of abstinence.





Am I not right and can someone please help me?





Because as we all know, finding a virgin 'partner' is less likely than winning the lottery.What in the bloody hell is the point of 'abstaining' until marriage?
Well, for one, finding a virgin partner is not less likely than winning the lottery!!...I don't qualify, but I know any number of women that are waiting until marriage!





But even if it was, it is absolutely NOT the same thing...yes, if you abstain and end up marrying someone that didn't, you are going to experience the problems you mentioned...but there is a BIG difference between interacting with a person who is ';damaged'; as a whole person and interacting with a hurting person when you're also hurting!





Consider an analogy...a mother taking care of a sick child. When she is healthy and well, a good mother can be patient and attentive to her child's needs...but if she happens to get sick as well, even the best mother is quite likely to become frustrated and resentful of her child's demands!





Why should you abstain?...for the same reasons that you don't do many of the other things you don't do because you don't want to hurt yourself! In a way, your argument is a little like saying, ';I should just drink and drive since I may still suffer the consequences of drunk driving even if I don't do it';. Take my word for this...it comes from years of experience...sex outside of marriage will hurt you...and you will, in turn, hurt others, usually the people you love the most!





...and you can always trust God to provide you with a wife that made the same decision!!!What in the bloody hell is the point of 'abstaining' until marriage?
You don't buy a car before taking it for a testdrive do you?





In the bible, Men purchased their wives from the woman's father! They were treated as property. Also, men wanted to assure a virgin wife, coincidentally, the bible allows death as a punishment for women who have sex outside of marriage.





Using the bible as a blueprint for modern dating has already proved to be disastorous with abstiance only programs results.





All of these other excuses Christians just hide behind because they've been taught to FEAR sex. So they're so afraid to be touched, or touch someone. They hide under the blanket of marriage because then, if they are inadequate in bed the spouse can't leave.





If they tell you that sex is not important in a happy marriage they are lying. The true sadness is how many people live out their lives unfulfilled, and unhappy in a loveless marriage because the sex has died. To ashamed to work on the sex because of their childhood brainwashing.





Don't listen to them. Choose happiness. Don't let women blackmail you into marriage before having sex.
What's the point!? The point of telling young adults to wait until marriage is so that they'll be less likely to use birth control when they have sex anyway; so they'll be more likely to get pregnant and enter into a forced marriage; so they'll be more likely to drop out of school and remain poor, uneducated and dependent on the church; and so they'll be more likely to feel like it's all because of some character flaw on their part, which in turn will make them even more intent on following the church's rules for the rest of their lives.





Or did you mean what's the point for you?
Thank you... because despite the pain or lonliness that can come with taking this path - that makes me one in million especially at my age. Some women in my circles were virgins till they married. Abstaining until marriage if or when it happens seems absolutely correct to me. A woman should only share herself with one man and vice versa. Marriage is a sacred covenant... and our bodies are holy and pure.





1 Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;





1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body





Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
In the old days people got married young in the book(Bible) it was mostly arranged marriages but for you and me that need not apply we must choose for ourselves and there is nothing wrong with sex before marriage the word is promiscuous (one night stands for the fun of it). God wants you to be happy and a frustrated virgin isn't the way to go unless it is truly by choice. Adultery is wrong but premarital sex don't worry about it that much if your parents didn't have sex before they were married ask them how old they were when they did get married? 18 19 at best or if they were real saints very early 20's!
I agree with you. I was in a relationship where my partner was not sexually experienced and waiting for marriage, and I respected that choice- but I noticed that there was a major gap in our experiences that we could not understand one another. And I have not met many people in my age group (20's) who are seriously ';waiting';.
To keep you out of ';bloody hell';. When you say that there are comparisons made to ';sexual experiences with other partners'; this is what God wants us to avoid. To be able to enter into a union on a level playing field. If you spouse ';cheated'; that is not your fault and it would be best to find out before marriage.
Ah you're right.





Some people are into abstention for religious reasons, which I don't understand, but it's their religion, so cool, whatever. Others, I think, do it for health reasons, i.e. they want to be utterly certain their partner couldn't have any STD's. That seems silly to me since someone could just take a test...





Being concerned about comparisons to past partners -- well that's probably a good thing, isn't it? I mean, shouldn't you know if you and your potential wife/husband have good sex together? I mean, you're going to be doing it for a while.. at least, ideally.





So, yeah, you're right.
Many people on these questions are saying ';just do it';. Lmao, the only reason is they want you to go with them and they couldn't wait. I am only 14, male, and even I understand they are only giving excuses because they have broken the ';rule';. If I were you (if you are over 18), then I'd try not to have sex, unless there is absolutely no choice in it at all. Know what I'm saying? If you are planning it only to leave her later, then buzz off, but if you have to, no choice at all, you love her/him, then do it. Oh yeah. I'm smart for my age. :D
There is no point, in fact it has the opposite effect. If you abstain until marriage you will always wonder whether it would have been better with someone else. If you have sex before marriage and settle on one partner, that means that you HAVE tried others and found this one the best overall.
Your absolutly right. But if you don't stop and think about what are the possibilities if you do abstain from sexual relations you will regret it when you do get married. I believe it was the smallpox vaccine that destroyed smallpox. you how the did it. They immunized everyone in the whole world generation after generation. That is the only reason we are safe from smallpox. If we become the immunizated ones and we stand firm with love and perserverance we wil change the world. Keep the faith man and beat off. Its better than herpes.
It's a way to assure that you marry someone who sucks in bed, haha.





Seriously though, abstinance only education breeds STDs and teen pregnancy. People just need to be taught to be responsible. There's absolutely nothing wrong with premarital sex if you're protected.
True marital happiness should not depend on sex. If you can wait until marriage, then you truly do love the person. If your marriage has problems just because of sex, then you don't really inderstand the meaning to a successful marriage.
Actually my fiance and I are both virgins. It happens.








For those of you talking about ';test driving'; thats pathetic. If you are going to base whether or not you stay with a person because of how they perform sexually, you have no idea what love is at all.
There is no point, premarital sex is awesome.





You wouldn't commit to buying a car for a few years without taking it out for a test drive first, so why would you commit to a person for the rest of your life without taking them for a ride first?
well listen here sunshine, if she is a virgin then maybe u should abstain bt u dont have to. if she is not, THEN NO ******* WAY U SHOULD ABSTAIN!!! its not fair that she gets to have all the fun while your over here jacking off untill the day put the ring on her
Just have sex for practice so you can sport some fancy skills and positions with your true love when you find her.





If you don't use it, you lose it.








I'm going to h*ll.
The ideal is for both people to enter marriage a virgin. My husband and I were virgins. Our relationship is strong because of it. We are Christians.
It requires you try. They are not going to pop up in front of you. Try Church.


Look for love and not lust. Lust will destroy you.
That's just religion's way of controlling your life. Open her up and stick it in!
It is a sin
if this is your own problem forget about it you love her thats what matters.





aside from that its mind control.
Because God demands it.





yes there are people who are virgins until marriage
I dunno I didn't wait I'm still not married
None.
Someone needs to get laid..
You must be British. ha ha
wait... what?


we're waiting.





I know lots of virgins. Well... the ratio is smaller, but it's not impossible.
to be honest, i dont see the point that much either. our bodies were made to have sex before the point in our lives where we usually get married, so we should be able to when the desire starts and we are mature enough to handle the consequences. but still, it would be nice to have waited for that special someone. sex would be vey special and more exciting than it would be if you have had multile partners. since thats unlikely nowadays, i would just say try to be in love when you have sex.
Male abstinence?


***** please.





You don't want to be that lame.


And females do it to leverage themselves in the relationship.
Girls are naturally more promiscuous. It's indeed a holy grail.