Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Marriage??

This is not so much a question moreso advice...I got Married to the man I know I was supposed to marry...I love him with all of my heart...Inoticed a pattern when we are low on money and anything stressful pops up that's when we argue...I mean over silly little things! Divorce has never even been in either of our vocabulary's My parents have been married for almost 30 yeasr and both of his parents have been divorced several times...So to him marriage is extremely sacred...Same here though...How can I make things less stressful on us...advice no crudre remarks...I know the first year of marriage is the toughtest but I just want us to be as happy as we can be...While I have got your attention...I was a virgin when I met my husband...he was not...it didn't bother me at all...but sometimes I get this sick felling in my stomach when the thought of him havign sex wiht another woman comes into my brain....I know the past is the past...but why should it bother me I have his whole heart!Marriage??
Money is most common argument among couples. Money is what keeps us in our home, buys our food, pays the bills and clothes us. No wonder is causes us stress. When my husband and I were getting married, we had to attend couples counseling with our church. One day was dedicated to money. How to budget, live within your means, etc. The best thing you both can do it sit down and work out a budget. Stick to it. That won't eliminate the arguments, heck in marriage you argue. But it may keep the money arguments at bay. It sounds like you are both very dedicated to your marriage. And your arguments over little issues are in no way an indicator that your marriage won't make it. You just have to sit down, and talk it out.





As for the second part, it is because you love him, and the idea that he had a relationship prior is hard to take. It will get easier as you become more comfortable in your marriage and with each other. It will pass.





Good luck and congratulations on your marriage.Marriage??
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Hi, the matter u wrote of ur married life is completely in ur hands dear.As u said u were virgin when u got married 2 ur hubby,but the fact now is---- the past is just a past. Don't spoil ur happy married life at present when u %26amp; ur hubby loves eacthother,he has forgotten what he had previous, dont let those past thoughts haunt him in ur very present happy life ,,,,,,,just love him with ur dedication %26amp; enjoy ur sex life .
/hug





It's perfectly normal for you to feel that way about your husband's past. Especially if he has been intimate with another woman besides you and you have not had the same experience with another man. It's just a natural human emotion to want to share all your special experiences with the person you love and for them to share all of them with you. Don't think for a second that you are weird for feeling that way, because you're not. I don't like to think about my boyfriend's past girlfriends and he has made it clear that he feels bad when he thinks of me with my ex-bfs.





It's also normal for tensions to be strained under periods of stress. I'm not sure what you're arguments are about, and please keep in mind that arguments in and of themselves are not bad, it's how you have them that makes all the difference. Do you all discuss the things that bother you? Or do you scream at each other and throw tantrums? If you two are having problems communicating the way you want to, you can always see a counselor who can offer you different ways for you to express yourself more productively.





If you find yourself arguing about silly little things (as me and my bf often times do) don't forget to have a good sense of humor...there have been plenty of times when my bf and I were arguing about something stupid and then we burst out into laughter because the whole situation is ridiculous :-) It's human nature and it happens :-)
First, my husband and I had a very low income the first few years we were together. Knowing the divorce rate and that the number one fight in a marriage is about money, we decided we wouldn't fight about what we didn't have. It worked for us and in the years to come our finances improved, but we've never fought about money. And the other issue, my husband is 13 years older than I am, so he had more girlfriend's and sexual experience than I did when we started dating. At times, it irritated me, but he married me. You just have to decide it doesn't matter, because the past is the past. He married you, no one else. The first year is the toughest, the longer you are married, the easier it is to get past the little things.
Unfortunately money is a big stress on people. In a marriage (at least in my case) when money gets tight there are more things to consider. My wife and I have completely different views on the finances of our house hold. I consider the house payment car payment and other needs. she doesn't worry so much about it. When we are stressed out about anything the little things bug us and we tend to take it out on our partners. Is it right well no. but we are there for them and they are there for us. As far as the other. It's hard to get past the fact that our partners have been with other people. My wife was married once before and sometimes I feel like she is comparing me to her ex. I know she loves me with all her heart but I just feel like that sometimes. I hope this helps .

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