Why do some people think marriage necessary before having children?

I just don't understand why people are still hung up on people being married before they have kids. Do you feel this way? Why do some people think is necessary? Do people honestly think just because two people are married they somehow make better parents? In a world where it is uncommon to actually wait to have sex until marriage--why does it matter?Why do some people think marriage necessary before having children?
as someone who has raised one child and halfway through 2 more, my experience has been that you NEED a female and a male to raise well-rounded healthy children. (of course there are a few exceptions) I have 3 boys- when they were little, they preferred me...as they grow older, they rely on dad more. As i am not a man, there is no way i can answer ';guy'; questions, offer insight into why men do what they do, personal stuff involving men, etc. (same reason why dads don't usually give the period/sex/birth control talks!)


Most of all, though, children learn how to develop relationships based on what they see from us... How will your daughters learn how to treat a man without a dad? How would sons know how to treat ladies if there is no mom around? You would have to do triple duty picking up the slack... and most people fall short, as evidenced by single parent families w/ problem kids.


In my humble opinion, parents do children a monumental disservice by bringing them into this harsh world and not being around for them. Because of this, you shouldn't have sex with someone you wouldn't want to share parenting with!Why do some people think marriage necessary before having children?
having married parents shows a child committment and stability. While it is not uncommmon for people to divorce...it is nice to be able to know that the child was joined in a real bond.





There are exceptions to all rules..but any research you ';google'; will show you that a child brought up in a two parent home feels better about themselves and is more successful.





Also...while you are googling...google how difficult it is financially for a woman to raise a child alone. Very expensive.





Marriage is good for kids. Not popular thought I know...just true.


That doesn't mean kids can't do well without married parents, it is just BETTER.
I think if you can't make a commitment to stay together till death do you part, how can you make a commitment to raise a child together? Believe it or not, I think people are more likely to walk away from a relationship when it's not a marriage. Children deserve the stability of their parents being married.





Now that being said, I don't think people who are married are better parents. there are so many people who are in bad marriages. As for your comment about the state of the world or the US; just because it's so rare for people to wait until marriage to have sex, doesn't make that right!





I'll also mention that I'm a 25 year old single mom (and a pretty good one) of 5 year old twin boys. I married their father when they were 1, and separated from him last year. My kids' dad no longer shows any significant commitment to our kids.
That's the reason we have so many problems today! Children need the example of 2 loving parents who work together to raise them in a loving and healthy environment and teach them right and wrong. Of course there are times when there are single parents and they make very good parents, and they do a wonderful job, but the children will miss out on something if they do not have the example of both mother and father. Men and women are different and children learn different things from both of them.





Marriage is important.....it does matter!
I don't know, personally, I can't imagine having sex with someone I'm not married to in the first place. I'm so thankful I waited until marriage to have sex and so did my husband. We are so lucky to have found each other. To me, sex is something so precious and valuable - not to be given to someone you hardly know and proably won't talk to forever. I wanted to have sex with my soul mate, the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. And fortunately, I have found that. I think people just go out and have sex with people they hardly know or don't even know what their first name is, and end up pregnant. Is that a good stable home for a baby? No way. But I know everyone is different and everyone has their own set of values. This is just my opinion. But my heart cringes knowing how many kids have parents who are aren't together, who fight all the time, etc. Not to mention how many people don't even know who their father is. I think that's horrible.
i think it is because it is so important to have both parents in the same house raising the child together, also the it makes it harder for the father of the child to bolt when they are married, if they do get a divorce, they have to pay child support.
Marriage is a social relationship... it create a sence of security %26amp; responsibility over our partner %26amp; our child. We can hav child without marriage... bt it may not make you or your partner feel responsible towards eachother. No doubt that love is also a factor, bt marriage makes it more strong.


So i say.. no kids without marriage..
I know for me it's biblical in that premarital sex is blatantly condemned by the bible. If it wasn't for that though, I agree with you. I think that some people make better parents as just friends than some parents do as marriage mates. Personally I'd rather hand-pick a father for my child, one who wants the child as much as I do, as opposed to getting married and then after having kids getting divorced so my kids only see their dad every other weekend.
I think it is noones business if they are married or not. I think it is rude to answer a question on ttc with ';well get married first'; Being maried had nothing to do with it. It is all about SEX. get it right. Thanks for asking this question.
If it feels right to you then do it. Who cares what anyone else thinks!
b/c people like to criticize others


it's not necessary, but it's easier to care for kids if you have 2 people involved.


if you are w/ someone and you just don't want to get married (or legally can't), i don't think it poses a problem, unless the kids think one of the parents will walk out any minute.


look at goldie hawn %26amp; kirk douglas
I believe the best family for a child is two parents to be in a committed relationship. They may or may not be married but they do need to understand that this is for the long haul.


Now, remember, everyone out there who may take offense. I did say this is my opinion (not fact) and that I said I think it is the best situation, not the only good one. Crap happens in any relationship, committed or not and the kids usually pay. But i feel that the committed relationship gives them a good solid foundation.
well people can make that decision because of religion or maybe they find it more appropriate to just wait till marriage
It depends on your belief. In an ideal situation, only married ppl are allowed to have kids. Marriage isn't an anyhow thing. The man and the woman must be responsible and love each other, and when this exists, the children have no choice but to grow into responsible ppl.





I want to correct that marriage wasn't made primarily for child rearing(lol). It was instituted for companionship as it was in Genesis (u should understand this if u are a christian). Majority of those who are single parents really desire the companionship of a mate, though they claim not to. To have a fulfilled family, a genuine marrige is necessary. That is my belief.
The reason premarital sex is so common is because a lot of people have the attitude that it is ok and they pass that belief onto their children. It is called perpetuating the cycle. If more parents would teach their children that sex before marriage is inappropriate then maybe children would stop being so promiscuous.





Also if two people are together as parents why not get married? If you are already living the life why not just do it. It seems to me like its just a cop out to make it easier to leave if things get rough. What sort of example does it set for children if their parents tell them they shouldn't have sex before marriage but aren't married themselves.





I'm not trying to be holier than thou. I didn't wait until I was married to have sex, but I haven't ever had sex with anyone but my husband. So at least on some level I won't be a hypocrite when I tell my daughter she should only have sex with her husband.
It sets a good example to the children. Children model their lives after the adults in their lives. If they see commitment, it gives them a sense of security that you wouldn't find in a home where perhaps daddy is someone different every few years. That, in turn, sets them up to see marriage as beneficial in life. Married people may not make better individual parents, but they do make it easier one each parent by having a supporting partner to turn to when things get rough.





When people say that we live in a world where this or that is uncommon, my first thought is: are you really all that impressed with this world? It's violent and unstable. Love takes a back seat to success, power, money鈥?these aren't things that make your life better. The ';it's acceptable by our society'; argument is the worst I've ever heard.





Ask any child of divorce or any child of unmarried, parents that aren't still together if they'd rather have had married, committed parents. I don't think you'll get many to say they'd preferred it that way.
Well, believe alot of it has to do with maturity and commitment. Some people are raised to believe in certain ways of life and accept those ways. Married or not has nothing to do with being a good parent. However, stability, maturity and commitment do. I know quite a few people who have children but really needed a life guard in the gene pool. Parenting is hard and not a decision that should be taken lightly. My opinion is. If you are not in a good enought relationship to make the commitment of marraige, then you should not be even considering children. Children are a lot bigger commitment than marraige and there is no divorcing them.


There are way too many single parents in the world today and most of them are burdens on the system because of lower income levels and education levels. Not all mind you..but most.
It mostly involves the moral issue of having sex before marriage. Otherwise I dont know if it makes a childs environment more stable if you are married or not. I know a lot of people who aren't married who raise great kids.





it's all a matter of opinion and everyone has one!
It provides for a more stable environment.





And both parents have made a legal commitment to the relationship, and the child.





People feel that, all other things being equal, it's better for the child.





Love is necessary, but showing it - by committing - is important too.





Actions, as well as words.





That's the theory.
This is an old tradition. For me personally, I couldn't imagine being a single mother. I love having the support of my husband and the role model he is to my children. However, I have friends with children that live with their boyfriend/girlfriend and they are happy not being married.
Well they have a name for kids of unmarried parents: bastards.
I think its a good idea because it shows a bigger committment between the parents. A lot of unmarried couples will split up later on (not that married people dont get divorced). But a marriage is a more stable relationship and it offers more protection to the child (paternity will not have to be established if child support becomes an issue). Also it is nice to be a family not a boyfriend and girlfriend who have a child together. I personally hate to hear ';My baby's daddy or my baby's momma';.
I think it is a good idea for people to be married before they have kids. It shows that they are ready to commit to each other before bringing life into this world. I don't think it neccesarily makes people better parents if they are married, obviously it doesn't because there is so much divorce involving children. Ultimately, it is really the couple's decision. I think if there is love and trust in a relationship and the couple feels like it is OK then you are right, it doesn't matter.
THE TRUSTY BIBLE
I think its a good idea, too many single mothers. If they were married they'd be sure they loved each other and the child would have two parents. I have a child and am not married and i'm going to marry her mother when i have enough money. I would have prefered to be married first though
I agree with you my boyfriend %26amp; I have been together for about 4 years. We have one child together %26amp; I have 3 from previous relationship %26amp; he has one from previous relationship (all together we have 5 children). We already live together %26amp; are in the process of buying a house. We make all our purchases together, pay bills together, etc. We are now planning on getting married in September of 2007, just because we want to not because anyone else wants us to.





Some people would say that we have done everything backwards, having kids %26amp; living like we are married without actually being married. But it works for us %26amp; we like our life. I think everyone is entitled to do things %26amp; live their life the way that suits them best %26amp; everyone else should butt out as far as critizing other people who don't do it ';the right way';.
If 2 people are committed on all levels and mature adults, I see no reason to definitely make it legal...but there are other things that do come into play. If an unmarried couple breaks up, there are not as many legal protection factors (communal property for example)





If a married couple acquires items during a marriage, it means those items belong to both parties. It does not mean that if there is no legal marriage I believe and in turn can cause many problems that in turn effect children. Unmarried couples may also have issues if one of the partners gets ill. I know a couple who had kids before marriage and the mother had to have a serious surgery. Her partner had limited rights because they were not married...so they got married!
yeah I saw their around 34 answers and I think I have some thing about that , its not good if who couldn't able to looking for a family and after only a Short minute feeling of sex made some wrong stuff around all life . and other way if your just wanna try please don't follow Satan . do you know AIDS that is from Satan presents for dump people so before your not ready for looking for a family don't have any sex its up to self of person who wanna get it before marry or after marry but one ring is you should know clearly that you will to be a dad or mam for a child after your enjoy the well sex its not a game .
I don't know. I got married to my husband because I was pregnant and that has just caused us problems... not that I don't want to be committed.... I just wasn't ready to be married.





We now have some problems, and are trying to find ways to make things work. I think it would have been simpler to let things take their course, and had us actually get married when we were ready....





To your question though... the reason why we got married and it became important was family pressure. My parents thought that my son wouldn't be accepted into the eyes of the Lord unless we were married. We aren't Christian, but I think we both caved into family pressures.





It's not a good answer... but it's the truth. *sigh*





(And this is why we want a baby sitter, LOL. I think right now, especially after moving we need some time out. We have never used a sitter before... but we are running out of options and we haven't had any time with just us in a year.... We both love our son, but it's becoming apparent, we need to work on ourselves a little as a couple too right now.)
It is a big deal and very necessary. Firstly, because the bible says so and it is very sad that sex is so common outside of marriage. Secondly, having the bond of marriage is a lot harder to get out of then just walking out of the house. Thirdly, marriage shows your children that they are completely committed to their spouse and most of all their kids. Fourthly (if this is even a word??), marriage, in my experience, is what solidifies a child's well being and shows them that love, through their parent's marriage, is how life should be.


I wish more parents actually practiced this. :)
I did not even know that they do.